Archie, Betty and Veronica

#200: Lessons from Riverdale High

I grew up reading Archie comics. I wanted to go to Riverdale High. Thought that Jughead was the coolest character because he could eat the world and not grow fat. Wanted to name my dog, Hotdog. Wanted, at some point, Moose to beat my brother up. Didn't think Moose deserved Midge. Thought that Reggie was cuter than Archie, but boy, was he an a*s. But the thing that has always bugged me about that gang was how Archie would always choose snooty Veronica over girl-next-door Betty. He would practically float at her command and Betty would always be left hanging. I never understood that as I was growing up. Why does the good girl always end up getting the shorter end of the stick? (Or schtick.) And my goodness, why does Betty just keep on taking it? What the heck does she see in Archie? Betty needed some bright lights flashed into her eyes.

But I guess that comicbook world is a better descriptor of reality than I had realized. There will always be people who can eat truckloads and not get fat. Don't be envious. There will be thick-skulled guys ending up with smart girls. Don't be shocked. And there will always be a hot girl which some guy will always choose over the good one.

I've always sided with Betty but it seems like that's a mistake. Betty is a character who doesn't learn. I think it's fairly easy to read rejection when it's written that clearly. If she had any bit of dignity in her, she would easily dust herself off and walk away. My advice to Betty, go for Dilton. He's the one with a future.

And as for my learning, it's this: Be good and hot at the same time. That should drive any Archie crazy.